I have to share a proud parenting moment here, so please bear with me!
My daughter is in the middle of middle school crush land. We had some big talks after a broken heart last year about where middle school crushes really should land on importance meter of life. She actually used her first heart break in a very positive way, I thought. We talked about how bad she felt and how much she hurt . . and was that really worth it? Was it worth it to invest that much of herself and that much of her feelings and her thoughts in to something that she knew would be temporary?
We've talked off and on about how she needs time herself to be herself and to learn more and more about who she wants to be. I told her how I remember having crushes on boys on middle school - and lots of times the crush died down after I actually talked to the person. It's exciting to feel attraction and in middle school it's all new, so it's extra exciting. I get that! But a crush should never take priority over her self worth, her values, her morals, and her boundaries. I was very proud a few months ago when she was talking about a boy she liked and she said, "but, whatever, I'll probably like someone else next week!". I was very impressed about how she recognized these "crush" feelings.
Well today, the girl just floored me. She totally did! There is a dance coming up. There is someone she is interested in going to the dance with, and he knows this. He told her friend that he wants to ask someone else to the dance first and if she says no, then he'd go with my daughter. And my daughter, MY daughter said, if that was the case then she would not go with him. She said she won't be any body's second choice! Oh I am still on Mommy Cloud 9!! That's my girl!!
Tonight I am thankful that she's listening. She's getting it. She's valuing herself. And she can stand up to someone that she likes and say no because she won't lower her standards for herself! Keep it up baby girl! Don't let this go! This is so very important!