Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Bad Parent

I know this awesome mother . . well I know several actually.  But right now I'm just thinking about one in particular.  She has four children as well, but not the same boy to girl ratio as I have.  A few weeks ago she posted on Facebook about being a bad parent.  I never did ask what happened, because it really doesn't matter.  The road of parenthood, and of life for that matter, will always have "bad" choices or behavior moments.
Today, I was feeling like a bad parent.  This was after last night of feeling like a bad parent.  Both of these situations were involving different children.  I apologized to one and not the other.  Because honestly, with one situation, I should have put myself in the corner and calmed down.  But the other situation, I really couldn't predict or control what happened.
So every once in awhile, when I have a bad parent moment, I reflect on more of my bad parenting moments.  Last night, I was not up for this stroll down memory lane because I felt pretty bad.  Today, was ok, because seriously, I didn't know that two hours in to school my child would be falling asleep in class after he slept for over 11 hours last night.  I didn't know he was in that state.  I thought the good night's sleep had maybe reset him a little and he just had a hard time waking up.
In thought of every good parent out there who has bad parent moments, I would like to share.  I can sadly state that I have banged my baby's head on the wall pretty hard, actually I think probably each baby has had this happen because I carried them and I'm a klutz; but there was no brain damage.  I have forgotten to feed people dinner because I wasn't hungry and wasn't paying attention; and no one starved.  My children have left the house in yesterday's clothes without me noticing; and they were fine.  One of my children once drank pop that was in a to-go cup in the garage that had been there for about a month that I hadn't taken care of and got sick; but was fine after about a day.
I have left a to-go cup sit in the garage for about a month and didn't notice it until my child was drinking it and I wondered where it came from; and well, I fell pretty crappy about that one . . . but we all lived.  My children have left for school on occasion without teeth brushed or hair brushed and I didn't notice until we were at the school; but they didn't get kicked out or expelled for bad breath.  I have not paid attention to my own "you can only have a few pieces of candy from your Easter basket" statement and found dozens of wrappers under the couch; but their teeth didn't fall out.  One time I actually spilled my drink, accidentally of course, on to my own child in a restaurant; but the child air-dried and forgot their temporary humiliation after seeing my own remorse.
I try my best.  I screw up.  I apologize.  And I keep trying.  That is what a good parent does.  Those bad parent moments should never define us.  Apologize for them and move on.  Use them to teach that everyone screws up.  Everyone falls down; but it is how you get back up that really matters.
Tonight I am thankful (especially after writing that relatively small list of my collection of mis-haps) that I have some pretty awesome children that I haven't messed up!

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