It seems in January of the last several years that I've taken a moment to reflect on this blog. This year it crossed my mind. But if I recall correctly, there was something really exciting that particular day; so I went a different direction.
Today I was asked about my blog. Why did I start it? What it is about? Why do I do it? It is wonderful to be able to answer those questions with such a heartfelt testimony. There are things that I do in life because I have to do them. I have to work. I have to get out of bed every morning. I have to feed my children (well, sometimes I let them eat popcorn for dinner, but you know what I mean here). My blog is not a necessity. It is something that I choose to do.
Five or six years ago I was in a hard spot of life. My family had just made it thru some very big and very devastating times. Sometimes you can make it thru a hard part of life, but when life settles down; that is where the enormity of everything hits you. And it had. When you think about big, bad things that can happen in life, the list probably stays around a dozen. I mean the really big, bad things that could happen. We had went thru five of them in a matter of about three years.
We made it thru. And then it felt like things were just smoldering. There weren't big fires anymore. But there wasn't peace. And the problem was me. I knew it was me.
We were dealing with some aftermath things. But overall, things weren't too bad. I knew I had a lot to be thankful. But it didn't feel like it. Thoughts and emotions are often two very different things; and hard to connect together at times. I could sit there and list the things that I had to be thankful for, but it didn't reach my soul.
So this blog was born. I thought if I sat down and really thought about something to be thankful for each day, it would be good. This is different than a list. This is something I have to really think about because I have to write about it. I have to put some thought in to what I'm writing. And if a person puts that much thought in to something that they are thankful for, it changes you. And this blog has done that.
My perspective has changed immensely. And it was a greatly appreciated change. I didn't like feeling like a thunder cloud waiting to erupt. I didn't like looking over a life that held so much good, but not really being able to grasp it as a part of myself.
So tonight I am thankful for this blog. I am thankful for the God given idea to try this blog for a year and see if it helped me. :) (I just couldn't stop after one year!) I am thankful for the love of all of you that has inspired me to stay open and uncensored on here; because life happens to everyone, and it is good to hear that and relate to it. I am thankful . . . just thankful for it all tonight :)