It all started maybe, one and a half to two years ago or so. And, I think I know how it started.
For years and years I worked too much and slept too little. I hung on with a Mt. Dew in my hand and five minute power naps when I simply couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. But I could still do it. Then it started getting harder and harder to keep up. I think it started then, after too many years of wearing myself down too much.
I had read about the brominated vegetable oil used in Mt Dew and how it coats a thyroid and does not allow the thyroid to absorb iodine - which a thyroid needs greatly to run correctly. I thought maybe that was part of the problem. So I gave up my life-long friend in the green bottle. I expected things to get better for me. But they got worse. I think at that point, I took away something that my body was used to and just threw it for a loop.
Last year started my research on the thyroid. I wanted to fix it naturally. I've added supplements. I've increased my sleep amount considerably. And I have finally admitted that I can't fix this myself. I don't admit defeat easily. From what I've read and studied, I do still believe it is possible. But, I just don't have the lifestyle of rest that is needed to help repair the damage that I've done to myself.
So last week I met with my doctor. We've made a plan. I am going to be starting thyroid medication. And I honestly didn't expect to feel this excited. I really am. I made a good effort to fix this naturally. But it just keeps getting worse. And I am tired of suffering. My suffering is mild compared to many, and I realize this. So I try not to complain. But it is constant.
I want to make it through an entire day and not be completely exhausted. I want to look in the mirror and see me; not the zombie-like me that always looks like she is months behind on sleep. I want to not be afraid to eat a full meal because I know I'll gain two pounds. I want to exercise and see the results from it - not just have it make me gain more weight and zap all my energy from the day. I want to look at my skin and not have it always look like I've just walked five miles in a desert's blazing sun. The list goes on and on, but it comes down to the fact that I want myself back.
So I'll work with the doctor and hopefully this won't be forever. If medicine can help fix everything and get me back to normal; maybe over time I can wean off the medicine in keeping with a healthy lifestyle. Because I know that the fault here is my own. I inadvertently started my body on this downward spiral. And hopefully once it's all fixed, I can do good things to keep my body going strong this time.
Tonight I am thankful for finally asking for help. I am stubborn. I put it off for awhile now. But now, things will change. And I can't wait to see them change!