Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Not Good Enough

Sometimes people will talk to you like you aren't good enough.  Sometimes it won't be words.  Sometimes it will be actions.  Sometimes it will cut you deep.  Sometimes it will just bother you.  Sometimes you'll be able to shrug it off.
The worst that I've found is the voice in my own head.  The voice inside my head tells me I'm not good enough.  It's a liar.  That voice tells me that if I were more of something, than the other person wouldn't have treated me that way.  That is such a lie; my actions are my actions and the other person's actions are the other person's actions.
That voice tells me that if I had done this differently or said that differently, that things might be different, different and better.  That voice lies.  I did the best I could with whatever I had at the time.  That lying voice looks back, after the fact and passes judgment with present knowledge.
That voice sides with the people that find fault with me.  It agrees with them that I wasn't enough or that maybe I was too much. I was too annoying.  I was too aggressive.  I was too much of myself.  That voice lies, siding with opposition just to tear me down.
That voice is not true.  That voice is not from God.  That voice cannot be trusted.
I know my faults.  I don't need that voice throwing them in my face and blaming my short-comings for all the bad things in life.
The reality is that I am enough.  I am good how I am.  I am not to blame for other's faults or other's wrong choices.  I am forgiven for my shortcomings.  I am human.  I have faults.  But I am enough.
Tonight I am thankful to start each day being enough, just as I am.  That is a good place to start each day.  And then I strive to be better!  But not out of regret for how I've been.  I strive to be better because I know that God's plans for me are to always grow and become the best version of myself!

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