Sunday, May 8, 2016

Not Me

Mother's Day is never what I envision.  I picture myself waking undisturbed with sunshine thru the window and birds singing.  When the kids hear me wake, I am served breakfast in bed with a rose.  Then a day of family togetherness with no fighting, arguing, whining, or bad behavior would follow.  Maybe a picnic lunch in the warm sun for lunch.  And an evening at home filled with laughter and smiles would complete the day.
That has not happened once.  And I'll be honest, sometimes I get a little bit of an attitude that I don't get the day that I want - or even half the day that I want.  In all honesty, it probably is a little on the selfish side.  I want a day for just me.
So every Mother's Day I work to put on a smile as we rise early, get the kids and ourselves presentable, and head off for Mother's Day breakfast with my mom.  Here's what happens every time, I see her smile.  I see her eyes light up when she sees us.  I see the love.  And my plans for the perfect Mother's Day change.  Calling mom on Mother's Day just wouldn't be the same as seeing her in person.  This Mother's Day we were extra blessed to have her mother there too!  And both of them had that same truly happy look on their faces.  For lunch we dine with my mother in law.  And her face looks the same when she looks at my husband, her son.
By the end of every Mother's Day I usually feel just a little foolish for dreaming of a day all about me.  Honestly, if I ever got that dreamed of day, on Mother's Day, I wouldn't be happy.  Something would be missing.  And that would be Mom!
I see her face when it is time to go.  It is still a happy face, but with a little sad mixed in.  It is a reminder of how a loving mother always wants a little more time with her kids.  Then I look at my kids.  Even when they are fighting, arguing, whining, or having some bad behavior, there are here.  They are still little, but not as little as they used to be.  They won't be this little for long.  One day it'll be my turn on Mother's Day to be excited about seeing my grown-up babies for just one meal.  And I'll long for these Mother's Days when we are not sleeping in; when we are almost always rushing; and when noise rules our days.
Tonight I am thankful for the reminder that Mother's Day isn't about me.  Mother's Day is a day to be thankful for my absolutely wonderful, loving, caring, and selfless Mom, who continues to be the most honest and blessed example of what a mom should be!  Mother's Day is a day to be thankful for my children and to cherish the days with them in my care.  I feel like I should mention the hubster here too, because without him I never would have become a mother (although I joke since the kids look most like me, that I didn't really need his help)  he he he.  I am thankful for the hubster's support and faith in me as a mother and as a person.

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