Monday, July 25, 2016

Flaws

I bite off more than I can chew . . regularly.  I drop details . . regularly.  I sleep too little and think too much.  I am too blunt and forget to say things as nicely as I probably could.
I care too openly.  I don't respect social rules or ideals that don't make sense to me.
I don't care to keep the cleanest house . . or even come close.  I either love to cook or hate to cook, there's rarely an in between.
I have found in life, that I am my most happiest and content when I am living for others.  This contradicts all the little sayings out there about "me time" and all that.  This makes people uncomfortable.
I forget to buy ketchup in the summer time when we grill out more often.  I forget to use eggs in a rotating order in the fridge so they don't get bad.  I have bought moldy cheese several times because I don't remember to check the package in the store.
I have ignored the dog in the middle of the night and gotten mad when there is an accident on the floor in the morning.  I wait too long to clean the bird cage.  I neglect cutting the bunny's nails until I feel horribly guilty for making his feet click when he walks.
I have lost track of when the kids have taken baths, and been fairly certain that it is bordering on some sort of child neglect (ok, not really, but it seems like it).  I forget to make them brush their teeth (although they really are all old enough now).  I hide sometimes when I hear them whining at me and I don't want to deal with petty arguments.  I come home sometimes and take a nap in my car, in the driveway, so I can be more prepared to deal with life.
I used to think that the hubster was the more difficult of the two of us.  Quite often now I think I'm more stubborn, and pushy than he is.
Tonight I am thankful for my flaws.  They make me who I am just as much as the good things.  They turn some people away . . . ok, they turn several people away.  But there are ones who stay to see the "me" behind all this.  I pray for both sides of that decision.  Opinions of me are so minor in their lives.  At the end of the day, I lay my head on my pillow and sleep just fine - yes, usually I've already prayed for forgiveness before I get to bed, because I'm very aware of my flaws!  But as I drift off to sleep, I don't pray to be rid of my flaws.   I pray for you to lay your head on your pillow and sleep well too; because really these flaws don't matter - mine or yours.  What matters is that we see the good, forgive the not so good, and remember that judgment is not ours to do, but prayer and giving thanks are.

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