It has been 11 months (actually 10 months and 24 days) since I fell and tore my PCL.
After watching the hubster and all his knee stuff over the years, I was as close as I could permit myself to be of a model patient. I wore my straight brace when I was supposed to. I wore my adjustable brace when I was supposed to. I did my exercises at home. I did every bit of physical therapy I could do. I pushed and pushed myself. I elevated it. I iced it. I rested it. And I held on to the glimmer of hope that within a year's time, I'd be running again.
I've had some major improvements. And I've relaxed a bit on the physical therapy; honestly, mostly because I've gotten frustrated. I get a good resolve to keep pushing and then it swells up again and I feel like it's two steps forward and one step back. Or maybe two steps back and one step forward. I can't really tell yet.
I do know, I'm not close to running yet. Every time I exercise, my knee swells up. I've been working so much lately, and not elevating anything, that now I'm swelling from my knee down to my toes. Now I can't wear my regular shoes half the time. Grr!
And then I get to where I am tonight. I've been here before. I have to calm myself down. I am very blessed to have two legs to walk around on, this I know! But I want to run again. My son is doing Cross Country and I want to go run with him!
I've been here mentally before. And I'm sure I'll get back here again. Tonight I've got a little different game plan. I'm going to focus my leg training on support again, building up the good muscles around the scarred one. I've bought some compression training socks, to hopefully help with the constant swelling. And I just got in today (thanks to Amazon Prime) a inflammation formula lotion to massage in to my knee. It got rave reviews online, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. My knee is tingling right now as I type. I was happy to see many natural ingredients!
Tonight I am thankful for not giving up. I'm sure I'll continue on this roller coaster of resolve for quite awhile; especially with my year deadline coming so quickly. I won't give up after a year! I will continue on. And I will get back to running!!! And I won't break myself doing it ;)