I'm not anti-Brittany Spears. But I'm not really a fan either. I'm kind of neutral I suppose. But today I was very close to singing, "Oops, I did it again".
It all started last week. My daughter really wanted me to not bring any work on our Chicago trip. I started last week behind in work. I worked long hours, every day. I was sleeping 4 hours each night. I got so close to being caught up, though not at all ahead.
Then we lost our loved one. It's just hard to keep working sometimes.
I explained that I would need to bring some work with me because we would have the funeral once we got back. She understood. But really, there wasn't a ton of extra time to get work done. Pretty much just the train ride and a couple hours in the hotel in the morning.
After the last few days, I've just been exhausted - physically and emotionally. I'm behind again. Quite a bit behind actually, as my mind and concentration have just not been where it needs to be. It is stressful.
This morning I left for an appointment, after not having done enough at my desk . . . again. And I could almost physically feel the stress I was carrying. I was driving and praying. In my prayers I asked for help. Then it dawned on me . . again. I had done it again. I had tried to take all this life stuff on myself. And the stress was wearing on me. I wondered why does it take me getting so dragged down to ask God for help? Why do I have to be on the verge of exhausted tears before I pray for peace and strength? I've been here before. And here I am again.
I am thankful tonight that God is patient and forgiving, because I am stubborn and narrow-visioned at times! I am thankful that every time I pray for peace, I find peace. Not always in my time, but always in God's. I know that it will take a lot of work to unbury myself from this work hole I am in. This time I am being smarter though. I have been turning away work, quite a bit of work. I am not accepting any new work at the moment. I remembered today that peace does not come from a cleaned and caught up desk, but from God. And I remembered today that God gave me a mind to make good decisions about my life and myself; like decisions on not working myself out of sleep and a sound mind!