Thursday, August 18, 2016

Last Little Bit

Dear Child,
  I gave you space inside my own body.  My body gave you my food, my warmth, my blood, and any protection I could offer.
  I gave you diapers, clothes, and blankets.  I gave you my time that I would have been sleeping.  I gave you my time when I would have been eating the warm food on my own plate.  My body gave you food.  My arms gave you support.  I gave you cuddles, hugs, kisses, and songs.
  I gave you a hand to hold as you learned to walk.  I gave you a safe place to land when you fell.  I gave you food cut up in to little pieces.  I gave you my lap to sit on and hear stories.  I gave you the TV remote to watch cartoon animals of all varieties sing songs.
  I gave you my bravest face as you turned and walked away from me, in to a classroom.  I gave you chances to try things that interested you.  I gave you patience as you burned the millionth food in the kitchen.  I gave you encouragement and faith that you could cook something without burning it.  I gave you a smile as I ate food that I didn't want to look at as it came to my mouth.
  I gave you my best effort to become more grown up myself and take care of adult-like things so that you wouldn't have to worry or even be aware of such things until you are older.  I gave you my honest opinion, even when I knew it would upset you . . which upsets me.  I gave you a hand with your hair.  I gave you strong encouragement to brush your teeth one more time.  I gave you rides to the dentist.  I gave you rides to the doctor.
  I gave you my pillow.  I gave you my blanket.  I gave you my sweatshirt.  I gave you my fuzzy slippers.  I gave you my scissors (which then disappeared forever).  I gave you forgiveness when you broke my favorite cup.  I gave you somewhere around 10,000 pencils and pens.  I gave you my editorial comments on your school projects.  I gave you my duct tape.  I gave you my scotch tape.  I gave you more and more and more scotch tape. Seriously, what did you do with all of it?
  And on a day like today, when I am just exhausted.  Exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally.  On a day like today when I cry from being so tired and I dream of spending the next week in bed; on a day like today I gave you what I could find left inside of me to keep going.  You had been looking forward to watching the Lions play for weeks now.  I didn't look at the calendar close enough when I found these tickets to realize the state that I would be in tonight.  But I gave you what I could muster and we drove an hour and a half to fight thru traffic, find our way thru the crowd, and get to our seats.  And when you hugged me so tight with that beautiful, excited, pure child joy smile, you gave me everything I ever needed to make everything I gave seem so inconsequential.  What I gave is nothing in comparison.  What you give me is everything.
  Tonight I am thankful for our first time at Ford Field.  I am thankful for finding $6 tickets.  I am thankful that my boys saw how tired I was and were OK not staying for the whole game.  And I am most thankful that another childhood dream came true tonight for my #1 Lions fan and his brother who had fun, but still prefers to watch the Tigers play!

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