Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Not God

I have a problem.  I've had it my whole life.  I try to do too much for people.  I see where I can help, and I just go straight ahead.
This is bad for a couple reasons.  First of all, even if the people want my help; I'm helping people that need to help themselves.  So pretty much, I'm not doing any good by enabling people to be less of what they need to be for their own lives.
Secondly, it almost always blows up somehow.  I mean, how could it not?  Just in principle that I am over-stepping boundaries of personal accountability . . how could it not?  I have problems keeping my thoughts in this "big picture" kind of mentality when faced with certain situations.
So I have this thing going on that has been getting more and more stressful.  I have tried to help the other party since mid-December.  And I have been on the understanding side of their situation since September.  6 months.  6 months later and nothing has changed.  They are fairly good people that are involved here.  But I'm not helping anything trying things my way.
Last night I laid down to sleep, so very tired.  I could not sleep.  I just kept thinking of how I can fix this situation.  And the more I thought, the more I stressed.  I'm not God.  I can't fix other peoples' lives.  So I started praying instead.  That is always a better way to go.  Especially when I, myself get more of the "what can I do to fix it" sort of mentality.  I prayed asking for wisdom on what to do here and strength to do what needs to be done.  And I put this in God's hands; because he can handle this and I can't.
I slept well last night.
Today I talked to an attorney.  Tomorrow I'm going to talk to these people.  Hopefully we can resolve things quickly.  If not, I see what needs to be done going forward.  By the way, the attorney was very helpful and very reassuring.  If I do need to take this farther legally, it shouldn't be the complete nightmare I was worrying about.
Tonight I am thankful that I am not God.  Seriously.  I would suck at it.  I am thankful that God is God and that he is good at who he is!  I keep praying, every time I start worrying.  I'm taking myself off the Fix-It Crew and moving forward as an adult, talking to other adults.  This is sometimes hard for me!

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