Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Personal, not Business

"It's not personal, (it's business)."  "What is that supposed to mean?  I am so sick of that.  All that means is that it wasn't personal to you.  But it was personal to me.  It's personal to a lot of people.  And what's so wrong with being personal anyway? . . . Whatever else anything is, it out to begin by being personal".
That is from You've Got Mail . . one of my favorite movies!  Regardless if you like the movie or not, it's a good quote.  We are trained to go to work and play a game and lose the personal aspect of ourselves to become a mold of what a "good employee" is.  I can tell you right now that I'm always too personal.  That plays in to my working for myself thing.  I don't mold.  And I don't play games well.  Oh, and I have lots of opinions, a lot of questions and a big mouth ;)
Anyway, there are times when business being personal is hard.  I would love to remove myself a little more from my day to day work sometimes.  It's just not who I am.
This would play in to the constant re-setting I've been doing with myself lately.  Tomorrow morning is court day.  I know I'm right.  I've felt mean and guilty for awhile.  I reviewed my file and I've actually been extremely lenient and patient.  I have no doubt I will ruled in favor of tomorrow.  I'm not worried about that.  I'm not looking forward to being there and seeing the other people - if they show up.  Then it gets personal.  They've made it personal on several occasions.
Even personal, I'm still right.  I have several documents to show that.  I keep reminding myself of that.  I tried to help them.  But you can't save people that don't want to be saved.
Deep breaths . . deep breaths . . . perspective is key and reminding myself of facts.  It'd be easier if I could switch off the personal aspect.  Nope, not gonna happen though apparently.
Tonight I am thankful that something being personal doesn't mean being a push-over.  If I could leave my feelings in a manila envelope and shove them in a drawer for tomorrow, I totally would!  But, I can't.  So tomorrow it'll be personal; it'll be business; and it'll be one more step to being over.  I can't wait.

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