For the past two weeks, I have tried and tried to get away from that horrible word. A little over two weeks ago, I was supposed to have an entire day all to myself. I was so excited to get away, unplug, re-energize, and brainstorm. Instead, I spent that morning talking to a state worker and racking my brain at who could possibly think I was a monster.
Since then, I have found out enough to keep my brain half crazy. It's been a busy work time. It's been a busy end-of-school-year kid time. It's been a time filled with some hard social things for the kids. I've been working slower, sleeping less, and eating worse.
This Saturday, Sunday, and today I did not set a morning alarm. That has been wonderful. It really has. But, I've also been working every single day for many hours.
I'm still not caught up with work. I'm close. But I'm going to go to bed soon. So it won't be tonight either.
I was sitting here today feeling all together unhappy with how I've been lately. I generally handle stress fairly well . . I think anyway. But this has been hard.
Tomorrow I'm making some small changes. Tonight I will sleep enough. Tomorrow I will get up and do a little exercise. Tomorrow I will eat a healthy breakfast. Tomorrow I will remind myself over and over and over again to "Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7. or . . even better right now "Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 55:22. Shaken . . yes, I've been shaken. I've allowed 2-3 people's accusations to shake me. It's time to let that go. I'm not even sure at this point if it is the accusation itself that shook me, or the fact that I trusted these people too much. Ok, Bingo, even typing that . . the accusation was bad enough. The fact that I trusted these people was what took this whole thing up a few levels. Time to let go. Time to forgive. Time to just back away and respect these new boundaries.
Tomorrow I will work hard, as I have another busy week ahead. But getting caught up on work is within reach now. Tomorrow I will pray for my kids as they head off to handle another day at school with all sorts of situations. Tomorrow I will remember to take a minute to breathe and be thankful that there are only two more weeks of school and we can all relax a little. Tomorrow is full of possibilities . . . Tomorrow . . .
Tonight I am thankful for another chance tomorrow to move back in to a healthy place physically, emotionally, and mentally. Tonight I am thankful for a good weekend moving me a little farther and farther away from stress. Tonight I am thankful to even have these problems to stress about because today is a day to be thankful for those gave their lives so that we can go about ours.
And nothing to do with this blog; but I am also thankful that I finally got new chicks today :)