I speak when I'm told I should be quiet. I'm quiet when everyone else is talking. I sit when I should stand. I stand when I should sit. I interrupt when I'm excited. I sneak out the back when others are saying their good-byes. When others stand in the back, I walk to the front.
I don't stay in uncomfortable situations just because it would be polite. And I put myself in more high tension situations to find answers and ultimately, peace.
Today, I had a lot of appointments. I was driving for most of the day. The awesome part of my job is the driving. I get a lot of thinking time. I was praying and thinking and thinking and praying. I prayed to forgive. I prayed to let go. And it became very obvious that I wasn't done with this yet. There is one more person that I need to talk to. And I will do that tomorrow. Then I'll lay this all down to rest.
It's good when you see what you need to do to let go. You can't let go of a balloon if the string is still wrapped around your fingers. You can't let go until you unwrap the string. Sometimes it is best to just cut the string. But sometimes you work a little harder to save the string; by taking time and effort to unravel it.
Tonight I am thankful for my social incorrect-ness. I sometimes call it social awkwardness . . but it's really not. Most times I don't feel awkward - I could care less what social etiquette is, or how people react to my level of social interaction. And times like now, the lack of concern for social interaction etiquette does not prohibit me from walking in to situations which maybe I should be more concerned about. But I'm not. I'm looking forward to unraveling this string and letting go.