Friday, March 31, 2017

Crap-Tastic

Today was the Monday-ist Friday I've had in a very long time.  Seriously.
But we won't get in to all that.
The part of this day that IS worth mentioning is this evening.  We had a "Girl's Night Out"!  Just me and my girls :)
We did some quick shopping.  And a quick bite to eat.  Then we were off to see Beauty and the Beast.  The popcorn was delicious, as always!  The recliner seats were a dream.  I should've brought a blanket . . I always get a little chilly.  And the movie was better than I expected.  I have to say that I liked it better than I liked the cartoon!!  One of my daughters laughed when she saw me crying.  Mean girl . . . making fun of her mother!  I'll eat her next serving of ice cream!  Ha ha ha!
Tonight I am thankful for a fun night out with my girls!  It was a perfect way to brighten up an otherwise crap-tastic day!

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Don't Forget

I am still so excited about my announcement last night about my VIP ticket :)  There is so much information out there by excellent teachers.  I feel like I'm on the cusp of where I am and where I want to be.  I know it will take a good deal of time.  But, it's exciting!  I wish I could pause life and put more time in to learning right now!  It will come . . . a little at a time.
With all this learning and re-structuring of things.  I need to make sure that I don't lose how far I've come!  Last year was a working year, to break free of debt and mindsets that were holding us back.  We made so much progress!
And now, here we are on March 30th and I have not made a budget for March!  I know we've spent more than we should have on some things . . things that a written budget would not have accounted for.  But, there is always next month!  I told the hubster that our weekend plan entails working on April's budget.  There are definitely some things that we need to change around.  This goes back to the learning from last year that a budget is always going to be changing and being revised to fit life.  I wasted so many years not budgeting because I thought it would be a written in stone set of numbers that I just couldn't make work.  But that's not what a budget is for at all - feel free to shoot me a message if you missed any of my last year's blogs about this!
Our dinner planning has been non-existent the last few weeks.  We've done more take-out as we've ran here and there.  I've been making better take-out choices on my quest for health.  But home cooked is still better.  A big red flag was when my child asked me when we were going to start dinner plans again.  Even she was getting tired of take-out!
Tonight I am thankful for the reminder to not lose the planning and lessons and organization that we've worked so hard to find!  With those things in place, moving ahead to the next lessons is much easier!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

EXCITED!!!

I am SO EXCITED!!!
Last week I signed up for a one day seminar just outside of Chicago.  It is going to be a good one!  I got a general admission ticket.  The VIP ticket looked nice; but it was sold out.
Today I had a web conference with the same company to talk about some of the other things they offer.  And guess what?!?  I got upgraded to a VIP ticket the day of the seminar for free!!
That means that I will be having breakfast with the other VIP ticket holders for a networking event and an exclusive lesson taught by Chris Hogan.  There was also mention that a certain Dave Ramsey may stop in at the breakfast!  AND with the VIP ticket I get reserved seating near the stage!!!!  AHHH!!
I was going to get up early and drive down that morning.  But, in light of my new breakfast event, I am going to leave the night before.  I may even order room service!  I am so excited!!!  This is going to be so awesome!
Did I mention that I am excited?!?!?!?
Tonight I am thankful for a wonderful company that will help my business get where it is going; that will help me get where I need to be for the business to get where it is going; and that cares about helping others succeed!  Oh yes, and I am thankful for being upgraded to a VIP ticket for free!!!!  AHHHH!!!  :) :) :)   I'm going to get so much good information!  And I'll have a front row seat for it all!!!

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Calling Bull*&#$

Something from a conversation last week has stuck with me.  I had mentioned part of the discussion in my blog that night.  My friend had mentioned how people run around always in a rush, with adrenaline pumping.  And although adrenaline is good and has a purpose in our bodies - it is not meant to live with.  Our bodies weren't meant to have adrenaline coursing thru our veins the majority of our waking hours.  That's not what it's for.  But that's how we live.
For a body to naturally absorb and "handle" adrenaline, it takes many, many hours.  So we are giving our bodies no recovery time.  One night's sleep is not enough.
Man, that has stuck with me.  At this point in my life, I choose not to slow down many things.  I choose not to slow down kid activities - although I do strongly encourage them to think about how much they truly want to participate in activities.  I choose not to slow down my work.  Ok, well this is the year to slow down appraisals, but not the brokerage - that I want to grow.  I have chosen to work my businesses around the kids, which makes things a bit more complicated.
Life is just fast right now.  And I am working much harder on consciously choosing the things that are involved with making life fast.  I want them to be worthwhile and to a good end.  I don't want to be running around just to run.  I am working harder on saying "no" to things.
Let me switch gears for a minute please.  On my recent quest to become healthier (not just skinnier or lighter), exercise has been hit or miss.  I do love the quick work-outs thru Sweat Flix.  Although I still have a touch of asthma from all the respiratory crap over the last several months.  I suck at asthma.  My hat is off to those who live with it day to day.  I don't like the inhaler.  I really don't think I use it correctly, but seriously it isn't a complicated device.  So I choose to gasp and wheeze for 10-15 minutes rather than use it.  Ok, not the best of my decisions.  So, in turn, I also have not been working out so hard.  And the asthma stuff is improving.  The doctor said a few months and I should be back to normal.
But, when to work out?  Years ago I was a morning work-out person.  Then I was an evening work out person.  As life got busier, I'd squeeze it in whenever.  In all my reading on this new found quest for health, I've been reminded how good it is to work out in the morning.  I've set goals for myself there . . and failed.  And then felt bad about myself.  "Anyone who really wants it can make time" . . um . . . I call bullshit on that.  When a night's sleep is still physically not enough rest for my body, what time can I make?
For someone who has not slept enough for the past 7 years, NO, I shouldn't get up early to work out.  It is a struggle for me to allow 8 hours for sleep.  And this is something that I am working hard at allowing for myself.  And this is healthy.  I have seen the effects of my lack of sleep on my overall health and no one will convince me that going back to my old ways to exercise and push my all ready fatigued body is good for me.  It simply isn't logical.  Yes, I want "it".  And yes, I'll make time . . but on my own time, and in the way that is healthiest for me.
In my current state I can't do long work outs.  I can't breathe well enough to do it.  And, my organs are still healing inside from being poisoned with medicine.  So I don't feel like pushing my body thru my hour long Zumba dances or my miles around the track.
I've been focusing on strength training instead and throwing in a little cardio here and there in small amounts.  But, I'm not consistent.
So here's where I threw out everything I read and decided to use my brain.  I will do a few little exercises in the morning.  This morning I did lunges thru my house as I got ready to leave.  Then I dropped and did some push ups before brushing my teeth.  That was all.  Until this afternoon when I had a little dance party at my standing desk while my files uploaded.
And then (here's where I'm tying in the adrenaline talk) tonight I took myself down to my basement gym to do a little stronger workout.  Physical exercise is good to rid the body of a lot of bad things.  And now, it seems more logical to me to do this at night after a stressful day!  I'm not giving up on my Epsom salt baths by any means - they are wonderful to relieve stress as well!  But I don't have time for those every night.
My new plan, while life is like it is now, is to break up little things throughout the day.  I'll keep this body moving without hurting it further.  And at night, I'll try to fit in a few extra minutes to unload on my punching bag and work these muscles a little more . . and maybe in the meantime I'll sleep a little better, free from of a lot of the things my body has held on to throughout the day.
Tonight I am thankful for thinking logically rather than believing what I've been reading.  Every body is different.  My body used to respond well to morning work outs and strict diets.  In the past several months, they have made me worse.  Why?  Those things aren't what is healthy for me right now.  And that is what I want . . I want to be healthy again.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Mac N' Cheese

I've been doing fairly good at healthier eating.  Weekends are a struggle.  Especially weekends when I simply don't care about eating healthy!  But week days I've been doing remarkably better.
All thru today I had grand visions of a healthy dinner done in our Instant Pot!  Guess what though?  The clock hit about 3pm and all I wanted was macaroni and cheese.  Yep . . . not really healthy.  Seriously, the thought of meat was not appetizing at all.  This is odd for me because I am a huge meat eater.
Here's the difference between how I am eating now and when I've "dieted" in the past.  This time I am trying to listen to my body.  NOT, my taste buds mind you.  I will not be diving in to a tub of Oreos and eating my way out . . . well maybe when I'm dreaming at night :)
Anyway, tonight we did have macaroni and cheese for dinner.  I ate mine with corn in it.  Yum!  BUT, I didn't eat half the pan.  Sometimes a body craves a certain food because your body needs something that food has.  I honestly don't know if that could be the case tonight, because I don't think mac n' cheese is high in anything nutritious.  But, I was still reasonable with portion size.
Tonight I am thankful for choosing something healthy (portion size) when all I wanted was something unhealthy (mac n' cheese).  I was definitely ready to beat myself up about this while I was eating.  But, I paused and reminded myself that what I am doing here is not a quick-fix diet.  I am working on a lifestyle change.  And I can guarantee that in the remaining years of my life I will have mac n' cheese again.  So making that choice manageable is a good thing.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Ignore Tomorrow

It's Sunday night.  That means I have a child up past bed time to finish a project that is due tomorrow.  It also means that I have two Friday folders on my desk that I haven't looked at yet.  And, I'm really not sure what the children will eat for lunches this week.
Ok, so we'll look at the good stuff instead.  This school week is only four days long!  Then it is Spring Break!  Woo Hoo!
This weekend we got a little farther on our house spring cleaning.  We have a ways to go.  But I figure by the time the weather is warm, the house will be squeaky clean and we'll be ready to move on to the yard!
We had a nice Sunday morning breakfast as a family this morning.  Oh yeah, the best part, I wasn't cooking!  We went out and had someone else make us breakfast :)  Seriously I love to make breakfast . . sometimes.  Other times I like being cooked for.  The hubster specializes in cereal.  I really wanted eggs, bacon, and hash browns, so we went out.
Tonight I am thankful for a nice Sunday with a little bit of relaxing and a little bit of cleaning.  I am thankful for ignoring tomorrow . . because sometimes you just have to ignore tomorrow and enjoy today!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Good for the Soul

Today was funny.
I had shopping plans with my mom and grandma.  I called when I was on my way to meet them and I got word that my grandma was super excited about our shopping trip!  She was up this morning full of attitude and energy!  You gotta love a 90 year old woman excited about shopping!!!
At the store, she was cruising along at top speed!  My mom made grandma sit and rest at one point.  Grandma still wasn't ready to rest, but she complied while she looked at greeting cards.
Our regular lunch stop at Big Boy had grandma and mom refueling with hot fudge brownies!  I am always the fuddy-duddy here and I get fish and fries :)  Yum!
We were sitting there talking and decided we needed more shopping!  Our last shopping trip ended after lunch.  But this time grandma was ready to keep moving!   Mom was getting a little concerned, but grandma was adamant that she was not too tired yet :)
Tonight I am thankful for a wonderful time with my mom and grandma today!  I love our shopping trips :)

Friday, March 24, 2017

Storm

Momma ran out of patience today.  It happens.  Mommas are human after all.
Too much work this week.  Too much go-go-go.  Today there was too much telephone and too many emails with too much work already on my desk.
By the time the kids got out of school and argued about every little thing that a person could possibly argue about . .  yep, I had enough.  Chores were done, but attitudes were still present.  So the Xbox went away.  Then the tv turned off.  Kids were kicked outside.  Kids were sent to bed.  Fortunately all kids are still alive.
Every once in awhile a momma just loses her cool.  The hubster came home and wisely removed himself and the children from the volatile situation a.k.a.  his wife.  In the quieter house after normal business hours, I was finally able to finish what was necessary to be finished today.
Then I went outside for a bit.  I let the goats out of their pen and they munched on the grass while I did a little yard work.  It was quite therapeutic.  And it was nice to watch our newest goat, BJ.  He was a petting zoo baby last year and had always lived inside a fence.  He was pretty excited to be out in the yard with no limits :)
The sky was lightening, scaring the goats.  I had just put them back in their pen when the hubster and children returned.  I was brought my requested alcoholic beverage.  And now I'm sitting on the couch with my feet up.
Tonight I am thankful for moments of calm after my storm.  I'll be better tomorrow.  Or else I'll be in handcuffs . . . we'll wait and see ;)

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Rest

I love how God leads certain people and discussions in to life.
2017 has two majors goals for me.  One is to grow Ethos Real Estate West (which requires a huge transition of mindset on my part, I['m learning).  And the other goal is to get myself healthy and balanced.
Healthy sounds so easy at first.  I need to eat healthy.  I need to sleep more.  Blah, blah, blah. Right?  Maybe not.
I thought at first about doing a diet.  Then I decided no, the goal is health, not just skinnier.  So I'm working on healthier choices.  That is a hurdle itself.
I need more sleep.  That is a painfully obvious truth.  After weeks of getting a little more sleep, last week of not enough sleep was eye opening.  My body was doing things and having issues that it hadn't had in weeks.
I've read correlations between thyroid and adrenal glands.  And I am pretty convinced that any and all of my thyroid issues are lifestyle driven.  There are things to help thyroids.  But I need to change the cause.  I don't know how long it will take me to get enough sleep that my body is finally fully rested.  Mostly, I don't know this because I don't get many opportunities to get extra sleep.  My first goal is to get "enough" sleep per night.  7-8 hours is a goal.  Then I'll go from there and work on recharging myself.
A few days ago I posted on facebook about protein.  Everyone was very helpful!  Then a good friend brought up, why was I looking at protein?  Why?  Well, because that's what a person should do, right?  My dear friend pointed out that a large portion of my diet is protein high foods.  Maybe I don't need to be looking in that direction.  Hmm . . good point friend.  I think I could live off meat and dairy and be a happy gal.
Then I felt a bit lost.  I can't just switch and love all sorts of veggies . . because I think they taste gross.  I'm sorry veggie lovers.  Some of the pretty, colorful plates of veggies make me want to vomit when I get close to them.  I do have a green powder drink of ground up veggies that I sneak in to my day sometimes.  And I have these capsules of ground up veggies that take almost daily.  I try.
Another wonderful friend offered to do a zytoscan for me.  If you haven't heard of that, it is impressive.  I've had it done before and I've watched her do it to others.  You just put your hand on this machine.  It reads your body's frequencies and offers suggestions of what could help.  Today had some more stressful events for me.  My read suggested things that center and calm.  My read also suggested one essential oil to help creativity and resourcefulness.  This is so spot-on with where I am right now trying to maintain life and make these big plans to grow the business this year.  This thing is seriously amazing.  How could it know that about me?
Beyond the scan.  I had a wonderful conversation with my friend.  She is very knowledgeable about essential oils.  And she studies things that go back to the base of people-kind.  We talked about our kids for a bit too.  I mentioned how we have a phone-turn in time for my two phone toting kids.  And I talked about why - the break-away from the drama and stress of others.  The kids are around so much all day at school, they need to come home and unplug and decompress.  And for the first time I turned that thinking on to myself.
I mean, I've known that I don't allot myself a ton of time to relax and unwind.  I have my moments here and there.  But it's not daily.  And it should be.  I have continually pushed myself past my own limits; and been proud that I could do so much.  And I am still proud.  But, the cost is bearing on me.  Which is why I set this year's goal to find health and balance.  My friend brought up how people used to exist; how adrenaline needs time to leave the body and these days we seem to demand a life that exudes adrenaline as we race from one thing to the next . . that wears down the body.  Our bodies weren't designed to function at the constant levels like that.  This I know in my head, but I don't remember nearly enough day to day.
Tonight I am thankful for good friends how have reached out in my stumblings to find health and balance.  This isn't something that should take so long . . but it is going to.  I have pushed so hard for so many years, I have habits to undo and mindsets to unlearn.  Reconnecting to who God intended me to be, is remembering that rest is a big part of that. I mean, on the 7th day, God rested.  And I don't.  That is not the brightest move on my part.  I need to relearn how to rest again, and not just sleep, but actual rest that reaches my core . . . and I will relearn ;)

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Watch Me

I have a special place inside me that doesn't take any crap.  When I was younger, I didn't notice it.  I was shy and quiet.  And it wasn't until these last few years that I look back and see that I had a point, even then, where I had enough and would stand up for things.
I think everyone has that point, and some just spend years, or a lifetime, hiding it.  You can pile fear, anxiety, and a whole lot of what-if's on top of that spot and never give it any light.  I found that the more light I gave to it, the better I felt.  It grows, and it gets easier to stand up for what is right.
When you learn how to take the naysayers and turn them in to fuel for your fire; then there is no stopping you.  I have had several moments in my life where I was told I couldn't reach my dreams.  To those people I said simply, "watch me".  It doesn't have to be a fight.  And it certainly isn't worth an explanation.  Those people can't reach their dreams because they've already defeated themselves with their attitudes.  They wouldn't understand.  They won't do it . . but I will.  Don't tell me I can't . . or go ahead and tell me; you won't stop me either way.
Sometimes you just know that something is the right thing for you.  It is so real, that it is like you are already there.  Those are the good ones.  Those are the things that you go after.  Those are the moments when you find that spot inside you that doesn't take any crap.  Any hurdles in the way are just speed bumps.  Any voices or efforts to stop you are just stones to be kicked out of your way.  You stand up when you need to keep those things away that would be against you.  The rest of the time, you charge ahead, with your eyes on the prize, ignoring the jeers from the sidelines that try to distract you.  And that moment when you reach the finish line . . oh that moment is just as good as you knew it always would be!
Tonight I am thankful for dreams and goals.  Big or small, they are important parts of life.  Don't be afraid to reach for what you've been dreaming about!  My newest goal?  Well, there is a conference that I want to attend in Florida - Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership Summit .  It won't be this year.  My house just isn't ready for me to be gone for that amount of time.  And, just learning about it, I haven't budgeted for something that big.  But next year . . . oh next year, it's ON!


Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Skunk

Do you see the picture?  Do you know what that is?  Yep, it's a skunk.
The picture isn't be best, sorry about that.
This skunk made my son happy today.  What, you say, how can a skunk make a boy happy?!
Well, it's easy.  All the boy has ever seen have been squished skunks on the side of the road.  Think about it, there really isn't a place to see live skunks and not be scared.  They don't keep them at the zoo.  I only knew of one lady that had one as a pet - don't worry she had the stink sack removed.  There is just no place to go play with live skunks.
Today we were located safely inside the car.  We came along side of a field with a skunk!  I stopped the car and pointed the skunk out.  My son was so excited!  The man standing in his yard across from the street from the skunk looked at me like I was a crazy lady.  I mean seriously, who stops so the kids can look a skunk and take a picture?  Well, this crazy lady does!
Tonight I am thankful that we can now cross "see live skunk" off the to-do list!  And I am thankful that we can cross that off the list without having to take baths in tomato juice!


Monday, March 20, 2017

Tomorrow

I have a boy who has been waiting patiently (or not so patiently) to have a field trip.  And finally, tomorrow is the big day!  The first field trip for him this school year!
Sadly, I did not look at the calendar when I scheduled my work.  So although, I am chaperoning the field trip; I am also up late to get my work done up so that my phone doesn't explode while I'm out field tripping tomorrow too.
Tonight I am thankful that I get to chaperone the field trips with my children!  It's worth the lack of sleep and the dark circles that I will have tomorrow!  He is excited to go and he is excited that I get to go!  That is all I need to know :)

Sunday, March 19, 2017

This Time

Three weeks ago I made a great effort to give up pop.  This is a big deal for me because I'm rather picky.  I don't like tea or coffee or 99% of fruit juices.  So I take away pop and I have water and milk.  Yep, that's it.
I wasn't crazy enough to go absolutely no pop.  Seriously, I don't see that happening as a lifelong goal.  One on the weekends would be ok.  I did pretty good.  So I decided to move to the next phase of transforming the unhealthy parts of my life.
Last week was my first week of eating better.  I decided to watch carbohydrates since my real love is apparently sugar.  I say apparently because when I cut out pop I craved candy to a ridiculous extreme.  And really, if you cut out carbohydrates, it is very easy to eat healthier.  Almost everything processed has extra carbohydrates it seems.
Yesterday I gave myself a free pass though.  Getting up early after a week of not enough sleep and driving in a snow storm to be at a competition on time just dissolved any cares I had to be healthy.  I was actually very naughty yesterday and had 4 pops.  I am not going to beat myself up though.  It was ok.  One day is allowed.
And now I'm back on track.  This is part of a renaissance of sorts within myself.  2017 is the year I listen to my body and get healthy again.  I have spent so many years pushing my body.  I have learned that this will be a process to get back to listening to my body.
It's actually rather eye-opening the things I've noticed about sleep.  For months now I've been sleeping more "normal" amounts of sleep at night.  So this week back to my old ways of not enough sleep have brought back some negative physical aspects that I don't miss.  I am really trying to pay attention to what affects my body.  And sleep definitely affects me more than I would admit for years.
So here I go, back on track and moving forward!
Tonight I am thankful that this is the year that I get myself back.  It's not just a smaller pants size that I'm after.  I could diet and get there - I've done that before.  But this time my goal is healthy.  This time I'm after a healthy life that can't be derailed by a day of four pops or a week of not enough sleep.  This time is different.  This time is lifestyle changes, not temporary changes to get to a certain number.  This time I win for good!


Saturday, March 18, 2017

Accomplished

I am so far beyond exhausted that I can't even look back and see where I started getting tired.  This week has ran me right in to the ground.  I took selfies with the kids today and I can't believe the dark circles under my eyes.
BUT, it was all worth it.  Miraculously everyone was healthy for today!  Even with horrible road conditions, we made it to the Science Olympiad competition on time.  Here at the home front, the hubster and other kiddos got themselves all prepared for the last basketball games.  And all the kiddos did great!
Tonight I am thankful for a long week coming to an end with each kiddo getting a medal today and feeling accomplished with their efforts!  Now, if you will please excuse me, I'm going to bed and not waking up until I absolutely have to . . . Tuesday would be good!



Friday, March 17, 2017

Who You Are - Please Read This One!

Life is hard.
Life will take opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to question who you are.  And to make YOU question who you are and what you stand for.
It's hard as an adult.  It's hard as a kid.  It's just hard.
I saw a video awhile ago of a dad standing his little girl in the mirror and having her repeat good things about herself.  This is good.  This is what we all need to do.  We need to remind ourselves of who we are, that we are important, and that we deserve good things in life.
And here's why it is important to remind ourselves, and to dwell on these thoughts until they are always upfront in our minds - because it's true.  And because voices we hear, our own voices, circumstances, and life itself will tell us lies.  They will drag us down.  And there is one person who can change all this - you.  You can change you.  I can change me.  And that is where it starts.
A support network is good.  A support network can be strengthening.  A support network can remind you that you are good enough.  But you have to believe it.  You have to remind yourself of it when you don't feel it.  You need to remind yourself why you are good and why you are worth it.  You need to take some time on this.  You need to forgive yourself of things you have done and things that you believe you should have done differently.  You need to see the good.
You need to do this daily.  You need to remind yourself until it is so ingrained in your mind that there is no question about it.  Because it's true.  Because everything else is a lie.
The time in my life when I felt the worst about myself, the most unlovable, the most betrayed, and the most useless, I would replay this every time I felt like nothing:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRFsg50lykk   27 years old and I watched this clip over and over.  Sometimes several times a day.  And I would cry.  I would cry and cry and cry.  I was healing.  And I was remembering the truth.  And I was letting it become a part of me.
Whoever you are, wherever you are, you are meant for great things!  Yes you.  I'm talking to you.  I can judge your cover because I've read the book (lyrics borrowed from a good song).  You need to understand this.  This can become life and death, you NEED to understand that you are meant for love and goodness and great things.  Because it is TRUE.
And parents, we need to understand this because there are young people watching.  Guess what, if you don't think you deserve great things, your kids are watching.  And they are thinking that they don't deserve great things either.  Example is important here; it carries so much more weight than words sometimes.
And parents, tell your children.  Tell them they are good, they are loved, they are destined for greatness just being who they are - that they were made for wonderful things.  Tell them this because its true.  And because they need to understand.  They need to be built up so high they can hear angels singing along (lyrics borrowed from another good song).  And when they fall, that's why they have parents - to build them back up again.  That is growing up - two steps forward and one step back at times.
This week has pulled my heartstrings.  We are fortunate.  We are praying for so much and for so many. We are still building.  We are blessed to be here, to be present, and to be a voice of truth amongst so much noise.
Tonight I am thankful to have learned some time ago that who I am is more than who I think I am.  Who I am is more than who I feel that I am.  It is more than people say I am.  Who I am is designed by God to be good, to be loved, and to be great.  Who am I to question that?  And who are you?  You are designed by God to be good, to be loved, and to be great.  You have your special gifts.  Remind yourself of this.  Let it become such a part of you that no one can ever take it away . . Because it is true.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRFsg50lykk

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Monday thru Friday

I saw a thing online today.  It said "If you are living for vacations or the weekend, your shit's messed up".
This one kind of got to me.  For years I have made a point to try and enjoy life as it comes.  Because, I don't want to need a vacation from life.  I want to enjoy life every day.
These last few weeks though, I've been feeling like Monday thru Friday are just a race to get everything done.  And sometimes, on the weekend, there is a little rest.  Either that, or I get to catch up on things I've gotten behind on during the week.
A part of that is because we've had so much going on in the evenings.  This Saturday is a big day for all four of my children with last games and competitions.  After this Saturday, the calendar clears up a bit, which is good.  And I am working on so many business things right now: restructuring, new accounting, new infrastructure.  It's just going to take a little while to have everything up and running like it should.
I agree with the statement that I found on line today.  But I want to quantify it.  Lately I feel like I'm living for the weekend.  But, I don't feel like we have things messed up.  We are just in a busy season.  Things will slow.  New ventures will get smoothed out and running well.  And then, yes and then, we can enjoy Monday thru Friday not just because they are days in life; but because we've worked hard to make them part of a soundly built life.
In the meantime, I will be thankful for our busy time.  I will be thankful for a calendar that bursts at the seams Monday thru Friday because it means that we are working, the children are learning new skills and doing things that they love.  And believe me, it means that we will be every so thankful when things slow up a bit!

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Not God

I have a problem.  I've had it my whole life.  I try to do too much for people.  I see where I can help, and I just go straight ahead.
This is bad for a couple reasons.  First of all, even if the people want my help; I'm helping people that need to help themselves.  So pretty much, I'm not doing any good by enabling people to be less of what they need to be for their own lives.
Secondly, it almost always blows up somehow.  I mean, how could it not?  Just in principle that I am over-stepping boundaries of personal accountability . . how could it not?  I have problems keeping my thoughts in this "big picture" kind of mentality when faced with certain situations.
So I have this thing going on that has been getting more and more stressful.  I have tried to help the other party since mid-December.  And I have been on the understanding side of their situation since September.  6 months.  6 months later and nothing has changed.  They are fairly good people that are involved here.  But I'm not helping anything trying things my way.
Last night I laid down to sleep, so very tired.  I could not sleep.  I just kept thinking of how I can fix this situation.  And the more I thought, the more I stressed.  I'm not God.  I can't fix other peoples' lives.  So I started praying instead.  That is always a better way to go.  Especially when I, myself get more of the "what can I do to fix it" sort of mentality.  I prayed asking for wisdom on what to do here and strength to do what needs to be done.  And I put this in God's hands; because he can handle this and I can't.
I slept well last night.
Today I talked to an attorney.  Tomorrow I'm going to talk to these people.  Hopefully we can resolve things quickly.  If not, I see what needs to be done going forward.  By the way, the attorney was very helpful and very reassuring.  If I do need to take this farther legally, it shouldn't be the complete nightmare I was worrying about.
Tonight I am thankful that I am not God.  Seriously.  I would suck at it.  I am thankful that God is God and that he is good at who he is!  I keep praying, every time I start worrying.  I'm taking myself off the Fix-It Crew and moving forward as an adult, talking to other adults.  This is sometimes hard for me!

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Chauffeur

Confession - I have spent the last two nights sleeping on my office floor.  We have two fold out cots in the attic, but I haven't been motivated enough to go get one.  I used to sleep quite well on the hard floor.  I feel like I still do.  I mean, I'm not waking up at night or anything.  But I have been getting very tired during the day.  I guess I don't sleep as well on the hard floor as I used to!
Today I had several appointments.  I was driving around for about 6 hours in the beautiful sunshine.  I'd get out and freeze at a house for a few minutes.  Then I'd be back in the warm car with the beautiful sunshine.  Sometime around noon I started yawning and yawning and yawning.
Tuesdays are a particular busy night here in our house.  With the hubster still down with the man-flu, I am the only kid-chauffeur at the moment.  I was running out of steam quickly.
For activities at the school, I don't always stay.  I drive back and forth.  We don't live far from the school.  The last kiddo activity tonight was the next town over.  So I wasn't going to be running back home.  I thought about running some errands.  An even better idea was a nap!
This is not the first time I've napped while waiting for children.  I've found it actually to be a good use of time to sleep while children are practicing things :)  It was a perfect use of time tonight!
Tonight I am thankful for a nap in my car!  45 minutes of car snoozing made me feel ready to finish the night!

Monday, March 13, 2017

Sports-Filled

This year none of my kids wanted to play basketball.  We got the sign up sheets home from school, and the answer was no.
After my son's friends started talking about practice at school, he wanted to join.  But at that point, it was too late to sign up.  Then we got the sign up sheets home from school for another basketball program, Connect Sports thru the local churches.  We have done a few different sports programs thru the local churches and I have been very pleased with them.
Ok, so we told him we would sign him up.  Upon hearing this, my daughter also decided to sign up.  We went from a sports-less winter season to two ball players.  Totally ok though, they were excited!  (Yes, I look forward to sports-less seasons . . our calendar looks like a novel sometimes . . )  Both kids have greatly enjoyed their seasons!  This is the last week.
Tonight was my daughter's last practice.  They practiced about half the time and then they had ice cream :)  This was so neat.  All the kids have a little party after their last games this weekend.  Tonight was extra, the coaches decided that the girls had behaved so well this season that they deserved a treat.  How neat is that?! :)  And my boy's team is doing something special beyond their after-game party because of how hard they have worked this season!
The kids don't need the extras.  They don't need a party.  I'm not here to get in to a big debate about such things.  I'm just saying that from watching my kids this season, they are feeling pretty proud of themselves to have earned extra recognition for their efforts!
Tonight I am thankful our sports-less winter season transformed in to a sports-filled season.  The kids have loved it.  It really didn't take up too much time.  And oh yes, the kids loved it ;)

Sunday, March 12, 2017

No Play

With my Friday blog-stated weekend goal, I feel like I should report in that my entire upstairs is not clean yet.  We have made fantastic progress though!
I find it very draining to go thru the mess that my children make.  I'm only good for a certain amount of time and then I'm just done.  Today, for example, I ran away from home.  I was working upstairs for a bit.  Things were looking good.  I came downstairs and on a whim checked my phone.  A movie I wanted to see started at the theater in about a half hour.  I told the hubster I was running away and I took myself to see a movie :)  The younger version of me would have never gone to the movies alone.  But in more recent years, I find it very peaceful.
After the movies I drove out and met my parents at my latest idea.  I feel like a tease, but I really can't say too much online here.  Some things have to be approved for this to happen.  I will say that I'm very excited about it!  My mom and the hubster are the voices of reason to my crazy ideas - sometimes . . . when I listen to them . . . I'm rather stubborn.  They both were skeptical about this one.  But when I laid out my plan, they are both thinking positively!  So we'll see what happens next!  Honestly, I've been quite distracted by this idea since yesterday afternoon when it first hit me.
So yes, back home I came.  The hubster is the most recent victim of the flu in this house.  I have been putting Thieves oil on myself like crazy since our first flue case on Thursday.  So far, so good.  Tonight I am sleeping in my office.  Paranoid?  Maybe.  I have this week scheduled already though, and "flu" is not on the calendar!
Tonight I am thankful for not getting the upstairs all clean.  Ok, truth be told, I'd be very thankful if we HAD gotten it all clean.  But instead, I had fun running away and relaxing in a movie theater.  Then I had fun sharing my latest and greatest crazy idea :)  All work and no play makes for a not-so-fun Sunday!

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Fighting

A couple weeks ago I signed my girls up for this completely awesome seminar for girls.  I read thru the sessions available and the mentors who would be there speaking.  One woman had a high up belt in a karate type.  And she had a belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
I've been thinking about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu ever since reading that.  I've watched matches before.  I know a few people who have done Jiu Jitsu.  They've all been men.  Now, believe me when I say that I have never once in my life let anything sway my resolve because I'm a woman and something I want is for men.  It's just never been logical to me that I can't do what I want if I'm willing to work towards it - no matter what "it" may be.  For whatever reason though, I never thought how much I would enjoy Jiu Jitsu.  But reading about that woman has had me thinking.
I have always enjoyed wrestling.  I never did real wrestling as a sport or anything.  I enjoyed the rough-house kind of wrestling that the boys do in the back yard.  I was always game for that!   I'd watch people to see what would work best against an opponent.  And I'm fairly stubborn and scrappy.
My punching bag in my basement is one of my favorite items in my home gym!  Somewhere there may still be surveillance videos of me at a past job where I wrestled a guy just out of boot camp in the front of a store . . . I always stand back up very lady-like though.  So it's all good ;)
Ok, so I've made this decision that this is something that I want to do.  I found some classes for a place nearby.  They even have day time classes so I can go when the kids are in school!  There is only one thing that makes me nervous . . . my knee.
I haven't really done a ton to build it up lately.  I do the exercise bike now and then.  And a few other exercises.  But I haven't done much to focus just on building my knee back up.  And to do Jiu Jitsu, I would want to feel confident that I wouldn't re-injure myself.
So I've set a goal for the fall!  One thing I have learned about my knee is that I can't push improvement to happen faster than it naturally will.  And, I don't want to start these classes in the summer when the kids are home from school.  I have promised to do a 15 mile bike race with the kids this August.  That'll be a good step in the right direction.
Tonight I am thankful for realizing a good goal for myself!  40 pounds and a stronger knee in 6 months is definitely possible!  And it will happen!  I don't want to go in to my first classes and feel like I can't handle it.  I want to go in, in my best shape possible.  So I will ;)  Look for updates in September!

Friday, March 10, 2017

Unspokenfor

My children's area, the second floor of our home, is a disaster.  It looks like a hurricane went thru there.  
In all honesty, I remember how I used to keep my room and it was messy.  Actually, it was only messy up until age maybe 11 or 12.  That was a good age.  I used to clean when I was mad.  And in those preteen years, that happens a lot.  Sadly, I've lost that trait over the years.  Even more sadly now, my children don't have that trait.
They have had numerous chances to clean their rooms.  Like probably thousands of times of them hearing "clean your room".  I have tried every trick in the book to get this to happen.  Like to make a clean room be a regular occurrence . . I don't know.  I think I give up.
Ok, I'm a mom.  I can't really give up.  Mom's can't do that.  Or kids would never learn.  So, instead I will take advantage of a weekend with very little on the calendar!  I will arm myself with trash bags (for trash and donations), thieves cleaner, and four kiddo minions!  And we will clean the upstairs!!!  
Even writing that, I'm doubtful the entire upstairs will get done.  So let me try again:  And we will clean the majority of the upstairs!  Woo Hoo!  There we go!  Good Goals!!
Tonight I am thankful for a weekend with time unspoken for!  I have hope!  I don't know how I'll feel at this time tomorrow . . . but for now, I have hope!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Metal

I got a text from our tenants yesterday that the about half the roof had blown off the barn.  Yep, on the very rental house that I posted about just a few days ago with the awesome response after going up for sale.
I drove by the house today.  A good deal of siding was also blown off the house as well as the barn roof.  Our buyers are having their home inspection here shortly!
Short and sweet tonight, but I am thankful for home insurance!!  Replacing a little siding would be ok.  Replacing a metal roof on a barn . . . um, not really in the budget!  Like a good neighbor State Farm is there!

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Disney

Ok, I'm going to go off here just a little bit . . so please bear with me.
There is so much going on right now with Disney and Beauty and Beast.  I try to stay out of politics and the like with media attention whining.  But this one is funny to me.
I have read people bashing all Disney things.  And how the stories are unfair to women.  And how yada, yada, yada.  Here's the deal.  They are.  And who cares.
If I am concerned that my daughter is going to watch Sleeping Beauty and then wait for her prince to come save her in life; then I have failed as a parent.  If my boys watch this movie and think that they need to grow up and save a woman, then I have failed as a parent.  If one movie that my child watches can make him or her believe that he or she needs to be rescued or be a maid, or a hero , or whatever; then seriously I am a bad parent.  Here's a fact which shouldn't be a surprise - these are stories.  These are completely fictional stories.  And I would hope that I have done a good enough job communicating with my children that they can tell fiction from real life.
I enjoy Disney movies.  I enjoy other movies too which are not completely equal to all parties involved.  That is life.  And for the time these stories were written, they are par for the course.  How self righteous to declare that a movie in a time where women were not equal to men be changed to have the women equal!  So we are just going to rewrite history now to satisfy our own self needs?  I don't think so.  Why not point out to our children how far we have come?  Why not celebrate that things are not now as they once were?  And why not celebrate that there are all types of people in life and that is what makes beautiful?  God enjoys variety and you cannot honestly look at this Earth and disagree!
When they were littler, my girls dressed up in fancy dresses and had fun pretending to be princesses.  That is childhood.  Guess what else they did?  They climbed trees in the fancy dresses.  They put on the dresses and ran outside to the barn to play.  They were not brainwashed by Disney.  They were inspired to dream by Disney.
We, as people, can sit in our living room chairs and look at any certain thing in this world and pick it apart until there is no wonder or excitement in anything.  But, why?  Aren't there other things in the world that need our attention more?
So if you want to see the movie, go see the movie!  If you don't want to see the movie, don't go see the movie!  Don't bash the company who made the movie for making the movie.  Do you know how many movies I don't agree with?  I mean, I would need to hire assistants to protest all the movies out there that I don't like.  But I don't.  I'd rather enjoy life.
And if you love the movie, don't bash the people who don't want to see the movie.  Not everyone likes the same movies.  Not everyone agrees.  You cannot change this and make people agree with you.  Not everyone likes jelly on their grilled cheese sandwiches either, but I don't hate people for this  . . .seriously, try it once though.  Yum!
Ok, to summarize; tonight I am thankful for choice.  I am thankful for the choice to parent my children to believe in themselves and to believe that there are no limits to what they can do or be in life.  I am thankful for the chance to let them make believe, dream, and play; because there is a specialness to life when you let that happen.  And I am thankful that movies are seriously just movies.  They are stories meant to entertain.  And if we parent our children, they understand this as well.
Oh yes, and I am thankful for grilled cheese sandwiches with jelly on top.  Yum :)  I stole this picture from the internet because I wasn't going to make a sandwich just for my blog.  But, yum :)

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Flexible

You know when someone hits a gong, it makes the loud noise and then it keeps vibrating.  And sometimes you might think it's done.  But then you still hear a little of the vibration left?
That is how I feel.
Last week's flu child was obviously unplanned.  And I am not complaining by any means because thanks to wonderful Thieves oil, it was only the one child who had the flu!  But, I had to move around my appointments to be home Thursday.  Which is fine.  This is one of the good things about my job, is that I can do that.  
However, the work doesn't just go away.  So I moved some appointments to Friday when my sicky boy was feeling well enough to come with me.  I couldn't fit all the appointments on Friday though because there was the big dance that night and I had to be home to chaperone.  I fit another appointment in on Saturday.  But, I couldn't fit everything in on Saturday because we had basketball games, another dance and date night.  I fit the rest of the appointments in on Sunday in between a cookie booth and defrosting from the cookie booth.
I didn't get all my Friday desk work done because I had added additional appointments to that day.  And this trickled on thru the weekend.  With Monday looming big and bright, I cut out some sleep Sunday night.  Almost caught up, but not quite, I cut out more sleep last night.
Here's the thing, I'm still healing.  I can't do this 5 and 6 hours of sleep thing like I used to.  Of course, it is never good to sleep that little, yes I know.  
The good news is that I am almost done with a report and I can go to bed!  Yay!  Hooray!  Hip Hip Hooray!  I feel like my eyelids weight 20 pounds each.
Tonight I am thankful once again for a job that I can move around to fit the needs of my family!  I am thankful that I am almost caught up to where I should be.  And I am thankful for sleep tonight!  I've been looking forward to it all day!  

Monday, March 6, 2017

Labor of Love

The year was 2006.  I was pretty pregnant at the time with my 3rd child.  The hubster and the daughter were sleeping.  My year and a half old son wanted to play and be loud.  I was tired, but there was no way I was sleeping.  So I loaded up the awake boy and we went for a drive.
Somehow we found ourselves on a dirt road in Shiawassee county.  There was a repo house with a sign in the yard.  The grass was higher than my knees and the house was in desperate need of some love!  I pulled in the driveway and peeked in the windows.  The original 1900's windows, mind you.  I couldn't see much thru the cloudy,  wavy glass, but the wood floors looked amazingly beautiful.
The hubster and I had talked about getting in to investment properties and we had some family members at the time that had been going thru a rough time.  It was perfect!  We bought the house and had a joint family effort to bring it back to its glory!  By the way, the wood floors that I loved thru the window were horrible.  Warped, holes, and pretty much beyond saving.  I'm glad they were pretty thru the window!
Well our family members got back on their feet and moved out.  We put the house up for sale.  But the market was still kind of down.  For what we had bought the house for and what we had invested in to it . . it wasn't looking promising to sell and make even a little profit.  We received a phone call from someone who wanted to rent it with an option to buy.  It was better than the house sitting empty, so we accepted.
Here we are many years later now and we are ready to be done with that property.  In all honesty the hubster has been ready to be done with it for awhile.  However, I saw the property as an investment; so I had hope enough to want to hold on to it.  With our Dave Ramsey journey I have contemplated this house over and over again.  Do we keep it as an investment and pay off the mortgage on it?  The numbers weren't in favor of that.  The numbers said to sell it.  The numbers have said to sell it for years now.
I think the hubster did cartwheels when I called him at work and said I was finally ready to sell it.  It really is a cute house on a quiet, country lot.  It is charming.  It is classic farm house, country charming!  I still love it :)
Alright, so we got everything ready and put it up for sale last week.  I was prepared for a few months on the market maybe.  I mean, it's out in the country.  We weren't starting at rock bottom pricing or anything.  We had our first showing after a day and a half of the house being listed.  Another showing two days later.  Another showing today.  One tomorrow.  Two on Wednesday.  And we got in an offer today.
I am blown away.  Simply blown away!  I looked at all the market data before we listed.  There was nothing to suggest this reaction.  I seriously feel like God is smiling on us!  This house endeavour has not been an investment success by any means over the years.  It has been a labor of love and compassion for our family first and then for our tenants.
I keep trying to rein in my excitement.  There are still a lot of steps between here and the closing table.  I am praying for guidance and wisdom!  And patience!
Tonight I am thankful for the excitement so far about this house!  This property has been a fair source of stress over the past six months.  It's nice now to be a source of hope!
I will continue to be thankful for the chance to have had this house and learn lessons about investment properties . . some of the lessons were learned the hard way here.  But the lessons were learned nonetheless.  The next investment property will be handled much more prudently!  I am still thankful for the opportunity to do this.  And I will be extra thankful in a few months when the new owners are kicking back and enjoying the house!

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Life Online

In real life, like around real, physical people, I'm not a joiner.  I don't do groups well.  And I just do much better by myself.  Here on facebook land though, I join all sorts of things.  I have found some great groups with similar interests that I would never get in touch with if I had to actually sit in a room with these people.
Lately I've been gathering lots of encouragement from the Dave Ramsey groups.  It seems almost every week someone is paying off their house!  This is so awesome!  This is where I see myself.  I've even set a date - which I hope is a good goal date.
I start to think that maybe I should be less intense about this.  The kids are at great ages to do wonderful, memorable things with.  And maybe we should spend more money on trips and stuff.  BUT, I think what we are doing here is better.  There are so many memories we can make with these wonderful children without spending hundreds and thousands of dollars.  And they will have the memory of watching mom  and dad work their tails off to pay off this debt.  AND, hopefully they will choose a different path when they grow up.  I see such wonderful possibilities for my kids with the free-from-debt lives they can live!  And I think a lifetime without debt is worth a lot more to the kiddos than a vacation.
Besides, in a few short years, we'll be able to do all sorts of vacations, with cash of course; with the knowledge that we owe nothing to no one.  I will be able to rest so much better on a vacation knowing we are completely financially free!!
Even the hubster, (who at first thought I was crazy with my timeline for this house payoff thing) is getting excited.  I was excited when he was just on board with thinking this was possible.  But now he is getting excited.  This weekend we were talking about life things and he talked about the house being paid off like he talks about the mail coming.  He sees it as happening now too!  And he is getting excited about our life free from debt after it is done!
Tonight I am thankful for our continuing journey on this path towards being debt free!  I am also thankful for the Facebook Dave Ramsey sites.  They are a good source of inspiration!  We are still on baby step #3 - and I had hoped to be a little further than this right now.  BUT, I am counting my blessings that we are here, where we are.  We have been able to handle things with cash that we wouldn't have been able to handle before.  And the future is looking bright to start zooming along this track soon!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

All Around

The excitement in this house this weekend so far has been on a high level!
Yesterday was the middle school dance - the last one for my 8th grader.  Tonight was the Daddy/Daughter dance - the last one for my 5th grader.
Several years ago the boys and I started a date night tradition while daddy and the girls went to the dance.  I hadn't realized that I'd gotten predictable with our date night.  So I had to think of something different this year.  And I must say that I surprised them wonderfully!
We went out to dinner, per usual.  And then we went to the movies to see Lego Batman.  Where I surprised by reserving us the premier seats with free popcorn and a waitress.  I let them order chocolate shakes.  They had a blast reclining and un-reclining the seats for a half hour before the movie started.  And of course . . I mean Lego Batman . . of course they loved it!
The dance went well too.  My oldest daughter helps there for Girl Scouts.  And my younger daughter had fun at her last dance.  She got a little sad that it was her last one.  I told her now there will just have to be a Daddy/Daughter date night like we have a Mommy/Son date night!  And she will have fun middle school dances next year.
Growing up can be tough.  I remember that feeling when I realized that something would never happen again.  It's sad and very unsettling.  But to see her smile after a big hug and hear about her fun night was good.  Those are the things we'll hold on to, not the ending part.  Every ending brings a new beginning.
Tonight I am thankful for a good night all around!  The girls and the hubster had a great time at the dance.  The girls even took a picture together :)  It is adorable!  And the boys and I had a great time.  It was wonderful to surprise them!
P.S.  See those little white specs on my table?  Yep, I spilled my popcorn while reclining and putting my feet up.  Seriously I had my popcorn for like two minutes and spilled it.  The boys laughed.  Then helped me eat up the spill!


Friday, March 3, 2017

Swept Up in Crazy

At around 5:30 tonight I was really starting to regret that I had said I would chaperone at tonight's middle school dance.
Pulling in to the parking lot around 7 pm I thought about just dropping the kids off.  My comfy pants and electric blanket sounded so much better than standing around at a dance for two hours.
I walked in anyway.  And I have to admit, I'm so glad I did.  It was actually pretty fun.  Sure, all I did was pour pop in to cups all night.  But watching the kids was so entertaining!  I got swept up in their craziness a few times, just watching them all.  I stared and smile . . . . gee . . . I hope I wasn't some creepy parent . . . oh well if I was!  It's too late now!
Anyway, tonight I'm glad that I went to the dance tonight.  My kids had been pre-warned that I would be there.  So they didn't even mind.  Although I think I embarrassed my daughter when I went out on the dance floor and danced with her . . . hmmm . . . :)  Ok, yes, sometimes I am that mom . . . but not to a traumatizing-she'll-need-therapy-later level.  Just to a mildly embarrassing level . . . I think . . :)

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Notebooks in the Attic

In my attic there is a box somewhere with old notebooks.  See, I've always been a writer.  And when I was a teenager I would write.  I would get upset or sad or anxious with life and I would write.  Many of the writings are gone now.  But there are a few still in that box.
I always felt better after I wrote and got all those emotions out on paper.  Sometimes that was all I needed.  Sometimes I would get all worked up writing everything out.  I remember on many occasions going to talk to my Mom after I was all worked up.  And I must say, I have been blessed with the best mom in the whole world.  When I would start riding the wave of my emotions, she would anchor me.  She would gently but firmly point out that what I was feeling was not how things really were.  Emotions can do that to a person.  You stay in them and stir them around.  And they get worked up like waves in the ocean.  They get bigger and bigger the more they get stirred up.  And sometimes the sand that looks 20 feet down from the top of the wave, is really only inches away when you are standing on firm ground.
And that's part of growing up.  You learn that emotions can play tricks.  And you learn that what you feel is real - you really feel that way - but it isn't the truth of how things are.  I've gotten pretty good over the years at recognizing when to step off the emotional wave and look around to see what is really happening in life.  But as a teenager, you don't know that yet.
All that background was to share with you something that recently dawned on me.  I have two kiddos now with phones.  Phones = access to friends, Internet, messaging, text, etc.  I've been noticing a growing problem in this house with kiddos who are constantly being influenced.  They go to school all day and they have all the influences there of other people.  All the noise, all the comments, the opinions, and the judging.  When I was their age, I would come home and relax.  That stuff was left at school.  Home was safe.  I would unwind and relax.  I would talk to friends on the phone for a bit, but that was all.  Now, this influence is constant.  I've watched my kids miss this safe place.
But I found a bigger problem.  Who I was as a teenager in person and who I was as a teenager in those notebooks in the attic were two different people.  The notebook me was lost or upset and spiraling.  I had that time to vent and recollect and get repositioned back to the me that I wanted to be.  And then the teenager I was in person was the person I choose to be.  The teenager I was in the notebooks was the stuff I was working thru, it was temporary, and it was stuff that no one else barely saw.  Now that side of growing up is put on line.  It is messaged, texted, posted about.  These emotional waves are out there.  And some people think these waves are the sand - some people think that this growing up meandering is who my children, and other children, really are.  But it's not true.  There is an outlet now to put temporary things out in a permanent place.
This revelation startled me when I saw it with my own child.  And I pointed out that the person in the phone was not the person in real life.  No wonder there is confusion everywhere.  And I pointed out to my child that if they could portray themselves so differently unintentionally, how much more are they interpreting others in a misconstrued manner from who they really are in person?
We warn of Internet bad guys who come online to prey and pretend to be someone they are not.  I have heard no discussion about teenagers who are growing and changing every day, who are putting themselves out there to friends, strangers, whomever, when they are also portraying who they really are not.
It's easy to do.  You get upset.  You vent.  Your friend says something.  You say something back.  You go back and forth.  And this emotional wave gets bigger and bigger.  And your friends reads what you say and how you feel and they believe this to be you.  Until the wave crashes.  And who you really are is left standing when the emotions stop swirling.  Then what?  Then who are you?  You may know.  It's easier to know who you are when the emotions stop swirling.  But who else knows?  How are you now perceived?  I'll bet you are perceived as the emotional wave version, because that was the one doing the talking.
Tonight I am thankful for discretion and wisdom as my children grow.  I've told my Mom, and she knows, how luck she is that we didn't have all this online stuff when I was a kid.  I don't want who my children are and will be to get lost because of the constant chatter and noise around them.  I want home to be a safe place to relax, to center, and to remember who they are and who they want to be.  Yes, we have changed the phone rules in this house.  And so far, I've seen a lot more smiles as my children have spent more time just being them.

Thieves to the Rescue

Ah, I'm late!  I missed the midnight click of the clock!
Our night got a little off track shortly after my youngest went to bed.  He came back downstairs.  I assumed he was trying to stay up.  Nope, he threw up.
So we have the boy on the couch now.  The Thieves oil is diffusing next to his little sick body so he can breathe it in all night.  And I am hoping our track record with Thieves keeping sickness limited to only one person continues with this most recent bout of sickies.
Tonight I am thankful that I wasn't asleep yet when he came down.  I guess if a child is going to get sick, I prefer not to be woken up out of a sound sleep!